i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
