You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
