What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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