apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
