Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize