I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
