I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Operation Purity has been aborted
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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