Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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