I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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