We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
