Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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