ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
