I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
