I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
