Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
