oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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