it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
