you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
These tits shall not be calmed
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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