16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
