well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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