U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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