theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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