you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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