And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
