Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
