i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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