dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
