Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
