Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
