Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
