I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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