Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So squirting runs in the family.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
