no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
