I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
