we're blogging at a bar
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
