I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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