ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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