I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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