? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
