As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
