are you so shy because you have an std?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
