He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
