mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
