the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize