You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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