Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
