it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am available for nakedness
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
