and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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