If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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