Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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