i was born a porn star she said
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
