I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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