The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
