kristin has been a bad kristin
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
