You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize