We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize