What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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