i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
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i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
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I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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