4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
