everyone is single if you try hard enough
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
