The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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