i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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