I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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