You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
