i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
