I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
