and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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